Sunday, April 28, 2013

Dear Internet

I don't think I've every actually written a "dear John" letter to break up with someone. I usually do that in person. But when I decided to stop writing this blog, who should I have sent the letter to? The whole Internet? Awkward.

In any case, Internet, I'm sure you've figured out that I haven't been posting. It isn't you, though. It's me. I love you for your blogs, your news articles based on twitter feeds, your catchphrases ("Clean ALL THE THINGS!"), and your videos about sloths. But eventually I decided I didn't want to spend 20 hours per week writing blog entries. [Yes, that is actually how much time it took.]

So, since I could, I just stopped. I didn't even feel bad about it. It was the easiest break up ever, at least for me. I do appreciate that some of my dedicated readers felt that I had let them down, and I felt bad about that. My readers were awesome and encouraging, and I really loved it when my friends would quote me to me in the middle of conversations. The most often quoted:
  • "It's either a good date or a good story."
  • "A tip for the gentlemen out there: self-loathing is actually not as attractive a characteristic in a date as you might think."
  • "Did you just make a joke about shooting my dog in the head?"
Sadly, no one has ever used the phrase "gnocchi pimp" to me, which I think is a gross oversight.

Occasionally, I meet someone at a party and they ask about what I do for fun. When I say that I write, they ask to read something of mine. For those people, here is a list of a few of my favorite entries. I hope you enjoy them. For dedicated readers, if you have a favorite line, please add it to the comments. Thanks for being so supportive while I was writing this. I'll let you know if I start a new project.

The glass is half full. Of men.

Something fishy

Seeing the signs

The perils of dating and ravioli

What are the odds?

Out on a limb

The value of life experience

Princesses and unicorns

Mysteries of the universe (part 1)

Oh, my lord (part 2)

Truth in advertising

Liar, liar, pants on fire

Picky, picky, picky

The meaning of life, love, and salad

And for the folks who ask for advice on dating profiles, look at:
  • Princesses and unicorns
  • Truth in advertising
  • Liar, liar, pants on fire
  • Out on a limb
Thanks again,

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