Sunday, April 28, 2013

Dear Internet

I don't think I've every actually written a "dear John" letter to break up with someone. I usually do that in person. But when I decided to stop writing this blog, who should I have sent the letter to? The whole Internet? Awkward.

In any case, Internet, I'm sure you've figured out that I haven't been posting. It isn't you, though. It's me. I love you for your blogs, your news articles based on twitter feeds, your catchphrases ("Clean ALL THE THINGS!"), and your videos about sloths. But eventually I decided I didn't want to spend 20 hours per week writing blog entries. [Yes, that is actually how much time it took.]

So, since I could, I just stopped. I didn't even feel bad about it. It was the easiest break up ever, at least for me. I do appreciate that some of my dedicated readers felt that I had let them down, and I felt bad about that. My readers were awesome and encouraging, and I really loved it when my friends would quote me to me in the middle of conversations. The most often quoted:
  • "It's either a good date or a good story."
  • "A tip for the gentlemen out there: self-loathing is actually not as attractive a characteristic in a date as you might think."
  • "Did you just make a joke about shooting my dog in the head?"
  • "HOBO TOOTH! HOBO TOOTH!"
Sadly, no one has ever used the phrase "gnocchi pimp" to me, which I think is a gross oversight.

Occasionally, I meet someone at a party and they ask about what I do for fun. When I say that I write, they ask to read something of mine. For those people, here is a list of a few of my favorite entries. I hope you enjoy them. For dedicated readers, if you have a favorite line, please add it to the comments. Thanks for being so supportive while I was writing this. I'll let you know if I start a new project.


The glass is half full. Of men.
http://whenthehalfgodsgo.blogspot.com/2009/07/glass-is-half-full-of-men.html

Something fishy
http://whenthehalfgodsgo.blogspot.com/2009/08/something-fishy.html

Seeing the signs
http://whenthehalfgodsgo.blogspot.com/2009/08/seeing-signs.html

The perils of dating and ravioli
http://whenthehalfgodsgo.blogspot.com/2009/09/perils-of-dating-and-ravioli.html

What are the odds?
http://whenthehalfgodsgo.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-are-odds.html

Out on a limb
http://whenthehalfgodsgo.blogspot.com/2009/10/out-on-limb.html

The value of life experience
http://whenthehalfgodsgo.blogspot.com/2010/02/value-of-life-experience.html

Princesses and unicorns
http://whenthehalfgodsgo.blogspot.com/2010/06/princesses-and-unicorns.html

Mysteries of the universe (part 1)
http://whenthehalfgodsgo.blogspot.com/2010/09/mysteries-of-universe.html

Oh, my lord (part 2)
http://whenthehalfgodsgo.blogspot.com/2010/10/oh-my-lord.html

Truth in advertising
http://whenthehalfgodsgo.blogspot.com/2011/02/truth-in-advertising.html

Liar, liar, pants on fire
http://whenthehalfgodsgo.blogspot.com/2011/05/liar-liar-pants-on-fire.html

Picky, picky, picky

The meaning of life, love, and salad



 
And for the folks who ask for advice on dating profiles, look at:
  • Princesses and unicorns
  • Truth in advertising
  • Liar, liar, pants on fire
  • Out on a limb
 
Thanks again,
Jen

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