In any case, Internet, I'm sure you've figured out that I haven't been posting. It isn't you, though. It's me. I love you for your blogs, your news articles based on twitter feeds, your catchphrases ("Clean ALL THE THINGS!"), and your videos about sloths. But eventually I decided I didn't want to spend 20 hours per week writing blog entries. [Yes, that is actually how much time it took.]
So, since I could, I just stopped. I didn't even feel bad about it. It was the easiest break up ever, at least for me. I do appreciate that some of my dedicated readers felt that I had let them down, and I felt bad about that. My readers were awesome and encouraging, and I really loved it when my friends would quote me to me in the middle of conversations. The most often quoted:
- "It's either a good date or a good story."
- "A tip for the gentlemen out there: self-loathing is actually not as attractive a characteristic in a date as you might think."
- "Did you just make a joke about shooting my dog in the head?"
- "HOBO TOOTH! HOBO TOOTH!"
Occasionally, I meet someone at a party and they ask about what I do for fun. When I say that I write, they ask to read something of mine. For those people, here is a list of a few of my favorite entries. I hope you enjoy them. For dedicated readers, if you have a favorite line, please add it to the comments. Thanks for being so supportive while I was writing this. I'll let you know if I start a new project.
What are the odds?
Out on a limb
And for the folks who ask for advice on dating profiles, look at:
Princesses and unicorns
Truth in advertising
Liar, liar, pants on fire
- Out on a limb